October 10, 2010

Breaking News: This just in from the NPR News Room. It has recently been reported that Northern Nevada Imaging not only shoots people, but they also partake in the act of cutting peoples heads off. Experts agree that nearly 95% of all Northern Nevada Imaging clients have unknowingly had their head cut off. This is done in such a swift action that there is no immediate discomfort. The surgeon general states that there is not an excessive amount of bleeding, and as far as interviews with victims has not revealed any short term or long term memory loss has occurred. Victims may experience a sense of lightheadedness and a feeling of vertical constraint.

Representatives from Northern Nevada Imaging released the following statement: “We rather enjoy cutting peoples heads off. Our company feels that shooting people is simply not enough. We would like to ensure that most if not all of our clients and future clients will have their heads cut off, but, it shouldn’t hurt.”